Is it me?
I need to work on seeing myself the way that others see me. I am struggling to figure out who I am without my kids. My identity has always been wrapped up in the idea of being a mom. Not letting my kids struggle,not letting them fall. Well all of that is coming to an end. Johnathan is starting his last year of high school in a few weeks. He has always struggled with social interactions, but lately I have been wondering if that is because of me. Did I make him so apathetic, did I make hims so closed off. I am just now discovering how bad I am a communication in my personal life. I am not direct. I avoid conflict. I will shut down if I think I am not being heard. I wonder how many opportunities I have missed out on because of this. I wonder if my life would have been different. Would it have been better? At any rate you can't change what happened in the past, but I need to get over some of the issues I had so I can move forward.